1. Buy Sparkling White Grape Jello at the store. Albertsons is recommended...Why? Well - hot damn - Albertsons: It's your store. Try to ignore the fact that "Albertson" is probably a balding, ludicrously fat man who is lodged in his couch and has Albertson brand potato chips wedged in various folds of flab.
2. Make the Jello. This is an elaborate process that tends to be quite tedious, and the refrigeration period is over 4 hours. That is a long time.
3. Have a heartbreaking moment of staggering genius. Think: "Oh dear! I could stick this Jello in the freezer, and then it would take only two hours! Ho ho ho! What a intellectual I am!"
4. Stick it in the freezer. Ok?
5. Pass out on the floor. Or on the bed. The couch. The shower. The toilet. Yeah...naturally the next step is to...
6. Forget about the freaking Jello.
7. Go to school, blissfully unaware of anything amiss.
8. Overhear someone talking about Green Jello.
9. Scream: Jelllooooooooooo!
10. Sheepishly grin as many students look at you like you're crazy. Again.
11. Anxiously await checking the freezer at home.
12. Go home.
13. Open freezer.
14 Look inside...
15. There shall be a massive, bubbly, odorous mass sitting in the freezer.
16. Remove Jello, smash against counter.
17. When this fails - Microwave.
18. Microwave for five minutes.
19. A disgusting odor will seep into your nostrils.
20. Hesitatingly taste the gelatinous, half frozen, half steaming buddle of piss-colored matter.
21. It will taste like rotting meat. (I'm still trying to figure out why)
22. You will feel really sick.
23. You will pour the Jello down the sink.
24. IT WILL START TO BUBBLE AND FOAM.
25. The raunchy foam will overflow the sink.
26. The rotting meat smell will reek through the kitchen.
27. And you will throw up.
28. Never eat Jello again.
Not like this happened to me or anything. Of course not. Would I be that stupid?....
........................would I?
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